Thursday, March 31, 2011

Reasons Why I Want to Get Fit

I've been thinking a lot about the reasons why I even want to go slong with this weight loss journey and I was surprised of what I've come up with. Not only does this want to lose weight come from a vanity standpoint, but it also goes much deeper. So, here are a few of the reasons why I want to become a better, healthier, slimmer me.
  • I want to wear a bikini for the first time ever.
  • I want to be more in shape and not get winded when I workout.
  • I want to be able to outwardly express the confidence I feel on the inside without doubting myself.
  • I want to look good in a slinky dress.
  • I want to be able to always find my size and not have to hope stores aren't out of larges.
  • I want to feel confident when I get on the scale.
  • I want to know that other people think that I'm beautiful.
  • I want to feel beautiful and be able to tell myself that without picking myself apart.
  • I want my boyfriend to be proud to show me off.
  • I want to not have to "suck it in" to feel skinnier.
  • I want to say a big screw you to anyone that has made fun of me because of my weight.
  • I want to feel good and look good naked.
  • I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror.
  • I want someone to take a profile side shot of me and not overanalyze if I do in fact have the beginning of a double chin.
  • I want my legs to be in the same shape they were when I was a dancer.
  • I want to feel confident in a pair of shorts.
  • I want to not cry everytime I put a swim suit on.
  • I want to overcome some of my feelings that I'm not good enough by way of my body.
  • I want to be able to wear whatever I want.
  • I want to be the pretty girl for once.
The list could go on, but these are the beginnings of some of my core reasons. I can't wait to see some of these things become a reality!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Ok, No Really, For Real Now

When I first started this blog way back when I was determined to follow through, to make myself a healthier eater, to become a new me. I always started with good intentions but then someone would want to go out for pizza, or I just happened to stop for ice cream, or I got lazy, etc... I sat many times staring at the blank post page thinking "maybe this time will be different", but  knew it wouldn't be. So days, then weeks, then months passed and I never got back on track. I would workout here and there, try to eat healthy but still indulge way too much, I was way off from being anywhere near ready to start a weight loss journey. I promised myself I wouldn't write on this blog until I had actually started making changes and found something I was going to stick with, and now I have.

About a month ago I went to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom just to tag along since I was home for the weekend. Then I stepped on the scale, my heart stopped, and the tears came flowing. I could not believe I was so heavy. I hadn't noticed much difference in my body before but after stepping on that scale realisty slapped me in the face. In close to a year I had gained nearly 25 pounds, TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS. My clothing sizes hadn't changed much, sure some things were snugger and didn't look as good but I still fit. This could not be real. Then I started looking at myself, really looking. My face was a little fuller, my legs a little thicker, my arms a little flabbier, my stomach a little pudgier. All the signs I had been ignoring finally sling-shotted right back to me.

All my life I've struggled with weight. I'm built much like my dad and grandma: thick, hippy, big-boned, broad shouldered. My dad is not a heavy man but he's had to work his whole life to stay in shape. I also was lucky enough to inherit some not so appealing physical qualities from my mom's side of the family: childbearing hips, flappy arms. I've spent most of my life blaming these things for my appearance and never taking responsibility myself. Then about a year ago I also began taking birth control pills, so obviously those were the problem and not me, right? I also blamed my family's eating habits (but my brothers are both string beans and very in shape). After seeing the scale, seeing the truth I realized it was me. I couldn't keep blaming other factors on my weight and weight-gain. I needed to take responsibility for myself and my body.

Right then and there I signed up for Weight Watchers and it's honestly already changed my life. I have already lost nearly 10 pounds from following the plan and I have no desire to jump ship anytime soon. I'm ready to make a change in myself and share it with anyone who may want to follow along with me.

So here I am, already feeling great about this decision and ready to finally tackle my weight issues both internally and externally. I hope to share my weight loss journey with anyone who may descide to read, and also just have a place for myself. So, once we go!