The First Letdown

Weigh-in for the week has come and gone and much to my surprise, I was up .8 pounds. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I was extremely upset to see a gain after a month of incredible loss. I was so angry with myself that I began crying right in front of the nonsuspecting woman that weighed me in. While I was angry, I also had to take a few things into consideration from the week.

For one, it was my "time of the month". So as with most other females I was bloated and retaining water like crazy. Weight gain is common the week that a woman is on her period and it will disappear almost as soon as it's over. Another factor could have been the fact that I started to do more strength training in my workouts. Usually I do Zumba or some form of dance-based workout to get my exercise in. In doing more strength based workouts you are working the muscles harder which, while it's really good for your body, can cause you to gain a little weight because you may gain muscle mass. I also went out to eat with my dad this week to a bar like place with virtually NOTHING incredibly healthy. I tried to do good and got a salad there, but of course it had tons of ingredients and extras (but it was so good!). All of those things considered I know I did the best I could this week.

In order to make sure I lose in my next weigh-in I just need to focus on me and what I need to do. I've already come a long way and I'm ready to go even further! I know I'm capable of staying on track and with a positive attitude and the ability to look at my first disappointment and chalk it up to a learning experience I'm going to do better this upcoming week!

Cheeseburger Pizza

I stumbled upon this delicious recipe over at Emily Bites, a food blog started by a girl (Emily) who comes up with her own healthy recipes and also showcases some creations from other food bloggers. There's everything from salads to cupcakes and it all looks so good! For this week I planned out a few meals I wanted to tackle and her cheeseburger pizza was one of them.

The recipe is as follows:

Ingredients:

Boboli 12” Whole Wheat Thin Pizza Crust
3 Laughing Cow Light Queso Fresco & Chipotle Wedges
3 oz cooked 95% lean ground beef (I browned mine with McCormick Hamburger Seasoning – highly recommended!)
2-3 Grape Tomatoes, chopped
1 Scallion, finely chopped (green part only)
1 T Ketchup (that’s what mine worked out to be when I squirted the ketchup bottle back & forth across my pizza a few times – I did it first holding a tablespoon underneath to check)
1 T Yellow Mustard (mustard comes out in a thinner stream so it works out to be less)
¾ c reduced fat 2% shredded cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 450.
2. Spread Laughing Cow wedges evenly across the top surface of the pizza crust, leaving at least a ½ inch edge around the outside. Sprinkle the ground beef evenly over the top and repeat with scallions and tomato pieces. Squirt ketchup in a thin stream back and forth about 4 times (8 lengths total) over the width of the pizza. Repeat with mustard going the other direction, crisscrossing the ketchup (I went back and forth 2 extra times to cover the same area because the stream is thinner than ketchup). Finish the pizza by sprinkling the cheddar cheese over top.
3. Place pizza on a foil covered baking sheet, a pizza stone (my preference) or straight onto the oven rack (depending on how you like your crust) and bake for 8-10 minutes.
The recipe says it yields 6 slices, which mine also did, but I'm sure if you wanted to do squares  that would be fine too. It has 210 caolories per slice and for those following WW it's 5 points a slice.
 

It was so good and so filling! I liked it so much I warmed up 2 slices for dinner last night. I definitely reccomend it, as well as checking out Emily's blog!

Reaching my first goal, and putting the scary numbers out there

Over the weekend I came up on my 1 month "anniversary" of joining WW and with it I reached my 5% goal! I was ecstatic! I've worked so hard and really followed my plan and listened to my body. It's a wonderful feeling to see all of that hard work paying off.

With reaching my 5% goal I feel like I may be ready to share my stats. Right after my initial weigh-in I was super embarassed of what my weight had become and that I didn't realize it had gotten out of control. I think a lot of it has to do with that fact that my body hasn't really changed. Sure I saw some changes, but my clothes all still fit and I'm the same size I've been since high school. So, this made it harder to really focus on the weight gain. Here are the numbers so far...

Intitial weight: 199lbs.

5% goal: -10lbs

10% goal: -19lbs

current weight: 189lbs, and currently at my 5% goal.

Even typing those numbers makes me cringe and I'm currently having a bout of anxiety about pushing the "Publish Post" button. But, in order to make this blog a true part of my weight loss journey I think it's important to put the numbers out there.

Now that I've lost 10 whole pounds I'm even more determined to work harder to achieve my 10% goal this month! I really think it's do-able so I'm going to go at it full force!

Reasons Why I Want to Get Fit

I've been thinking a lot about the reasons why I even want to go slong with this weight loss journey and I was surprised of what I've come up with. Not only does this want to lose weight come from a vanity standpoint, but it also goes much deeper. So, here are a few of the reasons why I want to become a better, healthier, slimmer me.

• I want to wear a bikini for the first time ever.
• I want to be more in shape and not get winded when I workout.
• I want to be able to outwardly express the confidence I feel on the inside without doubting myself.
• I want to look good in a slinky dress.
• I want to be able to always find my size and not have to hope stores aren't out of larges.
• I want to feel confident when I get on the scale.
• I want to know that other people think that I'm beautiful.
• I want to feel beautiful and be able to tell myself that without picking myself apart.
• I want my boyfriend to be proud to show me off.
• I want to not have to "suck it in" to feel skinnier.
• I want to say a big screw you to anyone that has made fun of me because of my weight.
• I want to feel good and look good naked.
• I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror.
• I want someone to take a profile side shot of me and not overanalyze if I do in fact have the beginning of a double chin.
• I want my legs to be in the same shape they were when I was a dancer.
• I want to feel confident in a pair of shorts.
• I want to not cry everytime I put a swim suit on.
• I want to overcome some of my feelings that I'm not good enough by way of my body.
• I want to be able to wear whatever I want.
• I want to be the pretty girl for once.

The list could go on, but these are the beginnings of some of my core reasons. I can't wait to see some of these things become a reality!

Ok, No Really, For Real Now

When I first started this blog way back when I was determined to follow through, to make myself a healthier eater, to become a new me. I always started with good intentions but then someone would want to go out for pizza, or I just happened to stop for ice cream, or I got lazy, etc... I sat many times staring at the blank post page thinking "maybe this time will be different", but  knew it wouldn't be. So days, then weeks, then months passed and I never got back on track. I would workout here and there, try to eat healthy but still indulge way too much, I was way off from being anywhere near ready to start a weight loss journey. I promised myself I wouldn't write on this blog until I had actually started making changes and found something I was going to stick with, and now I have.

About a month ago I went to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom just to tag along since I was home for the weekend. Then I stepped on the scale, my heart stopped, and the tears came flowing. I could not believe I was so heavy. I hadn't noticed much difference in my body before but after stepping on that scale realisty slapped me in the face. In close to a year I had gained nearly 25 pounds, TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS. My clothing sizes hadn't changed much, sure some things were snugger and didn't look as good but I still fit. This could not be real. Then I started looking at myself, really looking. My face was a little fuller, my legs a little thicker, my arms a little flabbier, my stomach a little pudgier. All the signs I had been ignoring finally sling-shotted right back to me.

All my life I've struggled with weight. I'm built much like my dad and grandma: thick, hippy, big-boned, broad shouldered. My dad is not a heavy man but he's had to work his whole life to stay in shape. I also was lucky enough to inherit some not so appealing physical qualities from my mom's side of the family: childbearing hips, flappy arms. I've spent most of my life blaming these things for my appearance and never taking responsibility myself. Then about a year ago I also began taking birth control pills, so obviously those were the problem and not me, right? I also blamed my family's eating habits (but my brothers are both string beans and very in shape). After seeing the scale, seeing the truth I realized it was me. I couldn't keep blaming other factors on my weight and weight-gain. I needed to take responsibility for myself and my body.

Right then and there I signed up for Weight Watchers and it's honestly already changed my life. I have already lost nearly 10 pounds from following the plan and I have no desire to jump ship anytime soon. I'm ready to make a change in myself and share it with anyone who may want to follow along with me.

So here I am, already feeling great about this decision and ready to finally tackle my weight issues both internally and externally. I hope to share my weight loss journey with anyone who may descide to read, and also just have a place for myself. So, once again...here we go!

Take 3

Remember when I said I was tired of falling off the wagon? Remember when I said I was frustrated and ready to commit to becoming a better me? Yeah, I do to, yet I still managed to once again blow it.

However, now I am 150% ready to go at it again once and for all! Don't believe me? I wouldn't either, but trust me I am more than willing to commit on this take 3 of my body revamp. I think my main problem is that I always see it as a much more daunting task than it really is. I don't have to follow a super strict diet, or have a trainer, or starve myself, or work out until I make myself sick...I just need to be healthy and active. In my last post back in June I talked about portion control and making healthy choices and while I may act like I'm extemely confident in knowing that, it's a little harder to actually get in the mind set and do it daily.

I know the follow through is key and I am legitimately ready to do it. After realizing as the summer progresses that I am not losing weight, and may acually be gaining it, and then having a minor freak out I know this is what I need to do.

So, hello blog once again, hello portion control and healthier eating, hello exercise, hello new me!

Quick fix vs lifestlye

Yesterday morning while getting ready for work I had my t.v tuned to the Today Show. I happened to catch a segment they were doing on dieting and healthy lifestyles, and it couldn't have been more perfect. The segment was talking about how society gets so jazzed up on dieting that we totally ignore the true reasons we ever started dieting to begin with. It also went on to explain that the reson most diets are so unsuccesful and easy to put off is that we view them as quick, temporary, fixes instead of real lifestyle changes. This made a lighbulb go off, and made me realize how true that statement was.

For me personally I have never commited to a real lifestyle change. I've tried dieting, cut portions from time to time and dabbled in exercise, but never really gave my full commitment . I'm usually simply looking for something to help me shed a few pounds before going back to my "normal" habits. Ummmm HELLO?! How is that supposed to make me a healthy me? Much like the Today Show segment sang, if I, or anyone else for that matter, expects to lose weight and keep it off, I need to emerge myself in healthier choices ALWAYS. The segments health "experts" made a good point in saying that living a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean eating nothing but fruits and veggies day in and day out, but realizing what is and is not good for you on a daily basis while giving yourself little opprotunities to indulge, but not over do it. This means using portion control and such daily while keeping active throughout the week, but also knowing that in doing that a small bowl of ice cream or skipping a workout won't kill you.

Since seeing that television segment I have really been reevaluating my approach to my own weight loss and personal health goals. I am now seeing that I don't need to necessarily diet to become healthy. If I am concious of what I am putting in my body and understand what "good" foods to eat more of and which "bad" foods to only eat in moderation I will do wonders in my transformation. Maybe all the time I've spent attempting to diet and "falling off the wagon" I was psyching myself out. In my head I always have pictured losing weight as all work and no play, when in reality you just have to have the dicipline to know how to take care of yourself. It's about creating a lifestyle and not a fix.

 I am going to take this whole healthy lifestyle approach towards weight loss and getting in shape. If I can live in a healthful manner from day to day no matter what I will in turn create a healthy me for the long haul.