Reasons Why I Want to Get Fit

I've been thinking a lot about the reasons why I even want to go slong with this weight loss journey and I was surprised of what I've come up with. Not only does this want to lose weight come from a vanity standpoint, but it also goes much deeper. So, here are a few of the reasons why I want to become a better, healthier, slimmer me.

• I want to wear a bikini for the first time ever.
• I want to be more in shape and not get winded when I workout.
• I want to be able to outwardly express the confidence I feel on the inside without doubting myself.
• I want to look good in a slinky dress.
• I want to be able to always find my size and not have to hope stores aren't out of larges.
• I want to feel confident when I get on the scale.
• I want to know that other people think that I'm beautiful.
• I want to feel beautiful and be able to tell myself that without picking myself apart.
• I want my boyfriend to be proud to show me off.
• I want to not have to "suck it in" to feel skinnier.
• I want to say a big screw you to anyone that has made fun of me because of my weight.
• I want to feel good and look good naked.
• I want to be happy with what I see in the mirror.
• I want someone to take a profile side shot of me and not overanalyze if I do in fact have the beginning of a double chin.
• I want my legs to be in the same shape they were when I was a dancer.
• I want to feel confident in a pair of shorts.
• I want to not cry everytime I put a swim suit on.
• I want to overcome some of my feelings that I'm not good enough by way of my body.
• I want to be able to wear whatever I want.
• I want to be the pretty girl for once.

The list could go on, but these are the beginnings of some of my core reasons. I can't wait to see some of these things become a reality!

Ok, No Really, For Real Now

When I first started this blog way back when I was determined to follow through, to make myself a healthier eater, to become a new me. I always started with good intentions but then someone would want to go out for pizza, or I just happened to stop for ice cream, or I got lazy, etc... I sat many times staring at the blank post page thinking "maybe this time will be different", but  knew it wouldn't be. So days, then weeks, then months passed and I never got back on track. I would workout here and there, try to eat healthy but still indulge way too much, I was way off from being anywhere near ready to start a weight loss journey. I promised myself I wouldn't write on this blog until I had actually started making changes and found something I was going to stick with, and now I have.

About a month ago I went to a Weight Watchers meeting with my mom just to tag along since I was home for the weekend. Then I stepped on the scale, my heart stopped, and the tears came flowing. I could not believe I was so heavy. I hadn't noticed much difference in my body before but after stepping on that scale realisty slapped me in the face. In close to a year I had gained nearly 25 pounds, TWENTY-FIVE POUNDS. My clothing sizes hadn't changed much, sure some things were snugger and didn't look as good but I still fit. This could not be real. Then I started looking at myself, really looking. My face was a little fuller, my legs a little thicker, my arms a little flabbier, my stomach a little pudgier. All the signs I had been ignoring finally sling-shotted right back to me.

All my life I've struggled with weight. I'm built much like my dad and grandma: thick, hippy, big-boned, broad shouldered. My dad is not a heavy man but he's had to work his whole life to stay in shape. I also was lucky enough to inherit some not so appealing physical qualities from my mom's side of the family: childbearing hips, flappy arms. I've spent most of my life blaming these things for my appearance and never taking responsibility myself. Then about a year ago I also began taking birth control pills, so obviously those were the problem and not me, right? I also blamed my family's eating habits (but my brothers are both string beans and very in shape). After seeing the scale, seeing the truth I realized it was me. I couldn't keep blaming other factors on my weight and weight-gain. I needed to take responsibility for myself and my body.

Right then and there I signed up for Weight Watchers and it's honestly already changed my life. I have already lost nearly 10 pounds from following the plan and I have no desire to jump ship anytime soon. I'm ready to make a change in myself and share it with anyone who may want to follow along with me.

So here I am, already feeling great about this decision and ready to finally tackle my weight issues both internally and externally. I hope to share my weight loss journey with anyone who may descide to read, and also just have a place for myself. So, once again...here we go!

Take 3

Remember when I said I was tired of falling off the wagon? Remember when I said I was frustrated and ready to commit to becoming a better me? Yeah, I do to, yet I still managed to once again blow it.

However, now I am 150% ready to go at it again once and for all! Don't believe me? I wouldn't either, but trust me I am more than willing to commit on this take 3 of my body revamp. I think my main problem is that I always see it as a much more daunting task than it really is. I don't have to follow a super strict diet, or have a trainer, or starve myself, or work out until I make myself sick...I just need to be healthy and active. In my last post back in June I talked about portion control and making healthy choices and while I may act like I'm extemely confident in knowing that, it's a little harder to actually get in the mind set and do it daily.

I know the follow through is key and I am legitimately ready to do it. After realizing as the summer progresses that I am not losing weight, and may acually be gaining it, and then having a minor freak out I know this is what I need to do.

So, hello blog once again, hello portion control and healthier eating, hello exercise, hello new me!

Quick fix vs lifestlye

Yesterday morning while getting ready for work I had my t.v tuned to the Today Show. I happened to catch a segment they were doing on dieting and healthy lifestyles, and it couldn't have been more perfect. The segment was talking about how society gets so jazzed up on dieting that we totally ignore the true reasons we ever started dieting to begin with. It also went on to explain that the reson most diets are so unsuccesful and easy to put off is that we view them as quick, temporary, fixes instead of real lifestyle changes. This made a lighbulb go off, and made me realize how true that statement was.

For me personally I have never commited to a real lifestyle change. I've tried dieting, cut portions from time to time and dabbled in exercise, but never really gave my full commitment . I'm usually simply looking for something to help me shed a few pounds before going back to my "normal" habits. Ummmm HELLO?! How is that supposed to make me a healthy me? Much like the Today Show segment sang, if I, or anyone else for that matter, expects to lose weight and keep it off, I need to emerge myself in healthier choices ALWAYS. The segments health "experts" made a good point in saying that living a healthy lifestyle doesn't mean eating nothing but fruits and veggies day in and day out, but realizing what is and is not good for you on a daily basis while giving yourself little opprotunities to indulge, but not over do it. This means using portion control and such daily while keeping active throughout the week, but also knowing that in doing that a small bowl of ice cream or skipping a workout won't kill you.

Since seeing that television segment I have really been reevaluating my approach to my own weight loss and personal health goals. I am now seeing that I don't need to necessarily diet to become healthy. If I am concious of what I am putting in my body and understand what "good" foods to eat more of and which "bad" foods to only eat in moderation I will do wonders in my transformation. Maybe all the time I've spent attempting to diet and "falling off the wagon" I was psyching myself out. In my head I always have pictured losing weight as all work and no play, when in reality you just have to have the dicipline to know how to take care of yourself. It's about creating a lifestyle and not a fix.

 I am going to take this whole healthy lifestyle approach towards weight loss and getting in shape. If I can live in a healthful manner from day to day no matter what I will in turn create a healthy me for the long haul.

Dinner for two

Dinner last night was a success! I spent nearly 2 whole hours getting everything prepared and cooked, but it was worth it in the end. Everything tasted delicious and all my worries were put to rest. My boyfriend even loved it!

I started off with Tomato Mozzerella Salad. The original recipe I was going to try was a Tomato Mozerella Skillet, but since it's been so hot lately I decided a cool salad would be better. So, basically I threw some stuff in a bowl and hoped it turned out edible. I used a ton of cherry tomatos, half a block of mozzerella, some olive oil, salt, pepper, basil, a hint of minced garlic, and a dash of sugar. I put it in the fridge to marinade for about an hour, and it turned out wonderful.

While I was working on the salad I had already started my Chicken Kabobs. First I took the chicken breasts and marinated them in a mixture of worcestershire sauce and pineapple juice. I just kept adding both until the mixture was just right. Then I cut the chicken breasts into strips, poured the marinade into a baggie and soaked the chicken in it for an hour. Then I cut up sweet onions, green peppers, pineapple, and cherry tomatos. When the chicken was done marinating I cut the strips into chunks and started threading the chicken and vegetables on skewers, put them on cooking sheets, poured the rest of the marinade over them, and put them in the oven to broil (yes I'm lame and don't have a grill).

Then we have the "grilled" corn. I soaked the corn cobs still in the husks in cold water for 20 minutes while I made a little mixture of butter, parsley, and a dash of salt. I used yogurt butter to make it healthier, and yogurt butter tastes just the same as regular butter so don't fret! After the corn was done soaking I pulled back the husks and put a thin coat of the mixture over the cobs. After that I put the husks back over the cobs and wrapped them in tin foil and put them in the broiler. When they came out all I had to do was unhusk the corn and they were good to go.

I was super pleased with my effort and really excited that everything was surprisingly low in fat and calories. I'm planning on looking for more healthy recipes and maybe trying to cook a nice dinner like this at least once a week!

Annnnnd again

Ok, ok, ok I know I SAID I was going to really commit and start my path to a new me a couple of weeks ago. Then came the start of summer jam packed full of munching by the pool, cooking out with friends, and trips to get ice cream. PATHETIC I know. But, not that all of the "oh my goodness summer weather is finally here let's pig out on hamburgers and hot dogs and chips and beer" excitement has simmered to the occassional cook out and more in the swing of things I think I can really re-dedicate myself.

Tomorrow I start my workout routine, an attempt at P90X. I'm a little nervous because it is really intense and does take a lot of commitment, but people I know that have used it speak of it in the highest regard. I know if I really want to see any change in my body I have to give my all to it, which has been the isssue lately. I'm good at making excuses for my lack of athletic activity that sound really legit, but I know that I'll get nowhere if I keep doing it.

Lately my boyfriend and I have been resorting to eating out, even though I made a huge grocery trip a week or so ago to stock up on healthy, but yummy, foods. I have been eating those and watching portions and such but even doing that when going out to eat doesn't always help. Tonight I told the boy no more, and I am attempting to make my first, real, complicated meal. Usually me cooking a nice dinner for my boyfriend includes some sort of pasta, garlic bread, and salad. I think he;s grown tired of the mold mostly because he complained about it haha. So, tonight I am making Pineapple Chicken Kabobs, Tomato Mozzerella salad, and grilled Corn on the Cob. Maybe to the more skilled cook this doesn't sound so complicated, but to me it's about to be an adventure.

I hope with this dinner tonight not only will I broaden my cooking horizons, but I will also see how (hopefully) easy it is to make delicious meals that are also pretty healthy for you. I'll give an update tonight or tomorrow on the outcome!

Keeping it short...and sweet.

The one thing that I really hate about trying to lose weight is the fact that the people around me are about zero help. For example, last night my boyfriend decided to be a sweetheart and take me out on a date. We went to my favorite rib joint, to a movie (Get Him to the Greek GO SEE IT!), and...out for ice cream. See I'm pretty good about portion control so at dinner I had plenty of leftovers. When we got to the movie, I declined an offer for popcorn and soda. BUT afterwards Joe surprised me with a trip to my favorite ice cream shop. ICE CREAM IS MY WEAKNESS and he knows this. He also knows I am trying to diet. Maybe I shouldn't feel bad for indulging in a sweet treat, but I feel like that's one step backwards.